Saving Bilbo (Thorin)
by redroses100
Summary: After the BOFA, everybody has survived but Thorin is still trapped in his Gold Sickness. He has Bilbo captured and takes the Hobbit as his. He abuses Bilbo for weeks until he comes back to himself. Now they both have to live with what had been done, and hopefully they can move on. WARNING: NON CON AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE. You have been warned.


_AN: Hello! A while ago I wrote a story called Saving Bilbo, with Smaug in it. This is that story without Smaug in it. This is what would have happened if Thorin had come to his senses while Bilbo was still in the mountain and there's no Dragon or Elvenking in this version, sorry. But there is Dis is this version! I think that's a good substitute. Anyway, if you prefer Bilbo/Smaug romance, check out that one. If you prefer Bilbo/Thorin hurt/comfort fix-it fics, welcome. _

_**Warnings for non con and emotional abuse as well as lots and lots of feels.** If any of that bothers you, clear out. If it doesn't, enjoy. _

OOOOO

Bilbo didn't even think of leaving the Lonely Mountain until the Battle had ended. And even after they had won, and the dead were being collected, he would not think of returning to his home until he heard news of the survival of Thorin, Fili, and Kili. According to Gandalf, all three member of the Line of Durin survived the Battle, as well as all the members of the company. But when Bilbo asked to see them, Gandalf shook his head sadly and advised that Bilbo leave for the Shire. As soon as possible.

It was not soon enough. He was a few days outside of the remainder of Lake Town when the company of Elves he traveled with was stopped by a few Dwarves on horseback, and he was asked for by name. He would have spoken up immediately, but for the angry way the Dwarves spat out his name. Instead he ducked his head and hoped the Elves would not point him out. Maybe this was what Gandalf was trying to tell him. The Dwarves hated him for stealing the Arkenstone. He shouldn't have hoped the Battle would change that.

Luckily for him, Prince Legolas, who led their company, denied his presence. However when Bilbo peaked up from his hood, he could see the Dwarves looking at his proportionally smaller build amidst the Elves with suspicion. They allowed the Elves, and Bilbo, to keep going on their way, but Bilbo feared this would not be the last he saw of Dwarves. He did not see them again for two days, until the company stopped just outside of Mirkwood to rest for the night.

Bilbo, despite Prince Legolas' urging against it, slipped away from the group and waded into the shallow stream near the camp. It was there that the Dwarves who had stopped them days ago made their move. He was bound and gagged and thrown over a horse with nothing but trousers on. The ride back to Erebor was made without stops, or delays. They rode for two days straight without resting and Bilbo could hardly keep his eyes open by the time they rode through the mighty gates of the Dwarven kingdom.

He searched desperately for a friendly face, or maybe a member of the company. But not one Dwarf even looked at him as his "escorts" dragged him through the halls. He though he saw Dori at one point, but the familiar Dwarf was faced away and Bilbo could not make a sound as he was ruthlessly pushed and pulled. Finally the Dwarves stopped, before a great wooden door inlaid with silver and sapphires. Bilbo could only guess it was Thorin's room, after all it must have been the Dwarf King who sent men after him.

The door swung open after a moments wait and Thorin looked down at him with a look that was a mixture of contempt and pleasure. He nodded in recognition to the Dwarves who had delivered Bilbo to his door and took the Burglar by the back of his neck, dragging him in and slamming the door behind them, the lock firmly resounding as the King turned it. Bilbo's heart was already in his throat, but the sound of the lock being turned made his stomach squeeze unpleasantly as well. Thorin shoved him carelessly to the ground, and he landed harshly on his shoulder, his arms bound behind his back and of no help softening his fall.

"Burglar. You thought you could escape your judgment by running?" Thorin growled, crouching to look at Bilbo. The Hobbits eyes were wide with fear, and pain. This was not the Thorin from their quest. The good King he had grown to respect and even love. This was the Thorin crazed with gold and obsessed with the Arkenstone. And very angry with Bilbo, if his harsh scowl was anything to go by. He pulled a short, but sharp, knife from his boot and made a show of running it over Bilbo's cheek and across his brow, applying the faintest amount of pressure every now and then to make Bilbo flinch. Then he smoothly cut through the cloth gagging the Hobbit.

"T-Thorin please-" Bilbo's desperate words were cut short by Thorin's hand clamping harshly over his mouth. The Dwarf King growled at him, even baring his teeth, ordering him without words to be quiet. Bilbo's eyes started to tear up at the state his once friend was in. Clearly not himself, and clearly unhappy with Bilbo. All for doing something Bilbo thought would help.

"I banished you...but I have thought of a much better punishment for a thief like you. Ever since I arrived in your precious Hobbit Hole, I have lusted for you Bilbo. For your pretty pink lips and that small rounded arse." As he spoke, the Dwarf King trailed his hands down Bilbo's body, stopping to tease his nipples before descending even lower. Bilbo gasped out and tried to pull away from the touch. This wasn't right. This wasn't the Thorin he respected and loved and he was scared of what this angry, Gold Crazed Dwarf would do to him.

"P-Please no..." Bilbo gasped out, and this time Thorin did not acknowledge him. His eyes were tracing every line and curve of Bilbo's body, only stopping when he arrived at the trousers that were Bilbo's only protection. "Thorin this isn't you!" Bilbo tried to snap the King out of it, his stomach twisting painfully at the implication behind Thorin's words and wandering touches. Thorin's clouded blue eyes flicked to Bilbo's fearful face and a dark smirk spread over the usually handsome features. The beauty of the Dwarf King was tainted with Gold Sickness.

"You deserve to be punished Burglar. You took something that didn't belong to you." Thorin scolded, almost playfully, running his fingers through the messy golden curls of Bilbo's hair. The Hobbit was already shaking, and the more Thorin said and did, the worse it got.

"I-I had to! The Elves and Men would have killed you!" Bilbo tried to speak sense, but Thorin only sneered at him.

"Your excuses only anger me Halfling. You should be thankful. If not for that pretty face I would have you sentenced to death." He spoke calmly, but Bilbo could see the spark in his once friends eyes when he spoke of execution. Bilbo's hopes faded as he saw that spark. None of his words would snap Thorin out of his Gold Sickness, or save him from his fate. He let out a ragged sob as Thorin's hand slipped past the band of his trousers and pulled down harshly. Now completely exposed to the Dwarf King's lusting eyes, Bilbo felt like he might be sick. This wasn't Thorin. And this wasn't right. But, he realized, he didn't hate Thorin. He wasn't disgusted or angry with the Dwarf. He was scared, yes, but how could he ever hate Thorin?

The Gold Crazed King showed no mercy as he took Bilbo. He barely prepared the poor Hobbit and his thrusts were deep and rough right from the start. Bilbo gasped out pained cries the whole time, unable to find even a bit of pleasure in the assault. Thorin didn't seem to care either way. He was lost in his Madness and in the tight heat of the Hobbit. Eventually Thorin came with a growl, deep inside Bilbo, who sobbed brokenly and openly. The Dwarf King remained within him as he caught his breath, and then he sneered at the weeping Halfling beneath him.

He left Bilbo on the cold floor of his quarters, straightening his barely mussed clothes, before leaving the Hobbit to cry. And Bilbo cried, full body sobs of complete desolation. Who knew how long Thorin would be trapped by the Gold Madness? Who knew how long it would be until he was back for more, or how long he would keep Bilbo before he grew bored of the Hobbit? Bilbo was scared, more so than he'd ever been before. More scared than he'd been facing Smaug. He curled into a ball, as best as he could with his wrists still bound behind him, and cried himself to sleep. He dared not hope for things to be better come morning.

OOOOO

Over the next few weeks Thorin's lust for Bilbo's body only seemed to grow. Every night, and sometimes morning, the continually crazed king ravaged the former Burglar until he spilled his release in or on Bilbo. He was always rough, and never cared whether Bilbo saw even a bit of pleasure. Some nights Bilbo was sure others in the mountain could hear his screams. But no one ever inquired after the sounds of distress, and no one but Thorin ever entered the chamber to see the dwindling state of the Hobbit.

Thorin reluctantly began bringing food for Bilbo, after the Hobbit collapsed from hunger during one of the assaults. But, as Thorin refused to free Bilbo from his binds, the Dwarf King fed the Hobbit the food, or made Bilbo eat like a dog. Still, no matter how degraded or embarrassed Thorin made Bilbo feel, the Halfling could not hate Thorin. He knew that this Dwarf currently abusing him was not the one he knew, the one he missed. He could not blame Thorin for the Gold Sickness. And he doubted he would ever be able to.

Thorin had Bilbo in every way imaginable. He never seemed to tire of taking the exhausted Hobbit, and he never allowed for a moments peace. Bilbo was not sure how long had passed since he was brought back to the mountain and to Thorin's chamber. The king kept him restrained and humiliated and in pain. It was weeks before Bilbo managed to find release from the assaults. And Thorin only allowed it once. While Bilbo slept, the Dwarf King placed a cold metal ring around Bilbo's member, specially designed to keep the Hobbit from release. His cruelty knew no bounds, especially when he sought to torture the Halfling further.

"I made this for you Burglar." Thorin whispered viciously in Bilbo's ear one night, after taking pleasure in the frail body once again. He grasped Bilbo by his hair and turned his head to see a long silver cylinder, the size and shape of Thorin's member. Without warning the Crazed King thrust the toy into the broken body he kept prisoner, relishing the cry that came from Bilbo's chapped lips. "You can feel me inside of you always." He hissed before shoving Bilbo to the floor and retiring to his bed. Bilbo shook violently all night, sleep refusing to come to him as he squirmed against the toy and the ring that restricted his pleasure.

Thorin made true to his threat. The toy was always there, when the Dwarf King wasn't. Bilbo could hardly think beyond the pain of his torment. He resisted eating, to the point that Thorin had to force the food down the Hobbits throat. Bilbo wept every night, knowing he would not be able to last much longer through this torture. He could feel himself growing weaker, despite the food Thorin made him eat, and he could hardly sleep. He was exhausted and could not help but to imagine his death, and the peace that would come with it. And with each passing day, and every assault, Thorin never showed signs of coming back to himself. Of recovering.

Bilbo began to believe there was no hope. And when his hope fled, it left an aching hole of longing. Longing for Thorin to snap out of it. Longing for peace. He dared not hope for it. But he longed for it. He knew he might remain nothing but a toy to the King for the rest of his life. Admittedly, he could feel his life dwindling, and he prayed it would end soon. But the pain in his chest never ceased, and the pain was the only thing that told him he was still alive. He felt very much dead, but for the pain in his aching heart and the pain of Thorin taking him every night.

OOOOO

The Dwarf King was buried within the broken Hobbits body when sense finally came to him again. The dull cloud of Gold Madness faded from blue eyes, leaving Thorin confused for a moment. It was the gentle sobbing of the Halfling that drew him back to the room, and the position he found himself in.

He was inside Bilbo Baggins. He was taking the Burglar, and roughly if the sobs were anything to go by. His Hobbits hands were tied behind his back, giving Bilbo no means to support himself. Bilbo was slumped over against the floor, and Thorin was holding him by the hips, holding his entrance up to the Dwarf King, who was still too confused to withdraw from the weeping creature. How had this happened? How had they come to be in this position?

All at once, every act he'd committed while trapped in his Gold Sickness came back to Thorin. Digging relentlessly through the treasure of Erebor. Denying Bard and Thranduil compensation to rebuild Lake Town. Nearly...by the gods...he'd nearly killed Bilbo! He'd held the Hobbit by the neck, held him over the edge of the wall! But that was nothing compared to the acts he could now remember committing after the Battle was over. Every single thing he'd done to Bilbo Baggins returned to his mind in an instant and he was too horrified to even think.

Bilbo sobbed heavily but quietly, he was laying very awkwardly and it was a bit hard to breathe. Not that Thorin's, as usual, brutal pace was helping. But then the King stopped. Just stopped, stilling inside him like he was waiting for something, or thinking of something. It was more than uncomfortable, it was terrifying. Was Thorin thinking up some new torture? Or perhaps he was deciding Bilbo no longer amused him. Maybe he was planning the Hobbits death as they sat there, the King buried in the Halfling and not moving.

"Bilbo." The Hobbits eyes snapped open and his heart jumped to his throat. Thorin said his name! Bilbo had no idea how much time had passed in the chambers of the Dwarf King, but the entire time, Thorin had been calling him names like Thief and Burglar and Halfling. Never saying his name. Bilbo almost wondered if Thorin thought his name was a curse now. And to hear it come from the King made Bilbo wonder briefly if he should hope.

"Thorin?" His voice was raw and scratchy with disuse and screaming. It made Thorin flinch, and that flinch told him that he was still inside Bilbo. Which made him grimace in shame and guilt. He withdrew slowly, taking note of the way Bilbo shook the whole time. His bound hands clenched and unclenched, like he didn't know what else to do with them, and he kept trying to see over his propped up arse at Thorin, who was observing his immediate surroundings as well as the Hobbit.

Thorin saw the silver toy he'd forced into Bilbo quite some time ago, laying to the side, ready to serve its purpose whenever Thorin was done with Bilbo again. He shuddered in revulsion at himself. How could he be so cruel? And then he remembered the other torment he'd thrust on Bilbo. Gently, ever so gently, he reached beneath Bilbo and slid the silver ring, with some strength, off the Hobbit, who hissed and sobbed the whole time. He threw the ring as far away as he could and did the same with the toy.

"What have I done?" He whispered in horror, understanding hitting harder than any blow. He'd abused Bilbo. For months! Tortured him!

The Hobbit squirmed, still not entirely sure what was happening to Thorin. Was he back? Was the Gold Madness gone? He couldn't see Thorin, not from his position pressed harshly into the ground. He couldn't see the blue eyes or whether they were clouded. Thorin had removed the silver ring. As painful as it had been to wear it, it was even more painful as the King removed it. But then finally it was gone. Bilbo shuddered in something that was not quite relief, but was close. Despite his close to relieved feeling, he was still worried. What was happening?

Thorin could not bring himself to touch Bilbo. He'd done too much touching of Bilbo in the past months. But he could hardly leave the Hobbit like this. Bound and filthy and in pain. As softly as he could, he tried to untie the ropes. When it became clear the knot was never going to come undone, he scrambled about looking for a knife. Upon finding one he quickly did away with the Halflings binds, but before Bilbo could pull back his hands, Thorin took them and slowly massaged his wrists.

As feeling flooded back into his fingers, Bilbo hissed in pain. The pain was diluted by the movement of Thorin's hands against his, but it was still agonizing. When Thorin released his hands, he immediately tried to push himself off the ground, only for his arms to fail him and bring him back to the ground. Thorin felt his heart clench at the sight and with a sniffle, for he felt tears coming upon him, he collected the Hobbit from his ungodly position on the floor and into his arms, tucking the dull golden curls beneath his chin.

Bilbo shuddered as Thorin gathered him. He was nearly sure by now that it was truly Thorin, and not some trick. He could feel the Dwarf King weeping gently as he held Bilbo. Disgrace from his actions and the deepest feeling of guilt had settled down on Thorin. He lifted Bilbo and placed him on the sheets of his bed, rushing away before he could see the look on the Hobbits face. He would draw a bath for Bilbo. He had not allowed Bilbo such a thing in the last few months. The thought of refusing the Halfling anything made his stomach turn now, and this was the least he could do.

He was knelt next to the large tub, drawing the water into the basin and weeping bitterly when he felt small hands on his face, tilting it up. A harsh sob escaped him and he refused to open his eyes to see the Hobbit. He could not bear the look of disgust and betrayal that would surely be there. Bilbo softly brushed his King's tears off his cheeks, fighting tears himself. But he had to see Thorin's eyes. He had to know, for sure, if the Madness was gone.

"Please Thorin." His voice was still uneven and shaky. "Are you yourself again?" Thorin's eyes snapped open, still afraid of what he would see, but he would do anything to reassure Bilbo. The Hobbit eagerly studied the King's eyes. They were large and wet with tears, but completely clear and full of regret. Thorin had returned to him. He had finally escaped the Sickness of his family and returned to himself.

"Oh Bilbo." Thorin gasped in shock. The disgust and hatred and blame was no where to be seen on Bilbo's face. Instead a bone chilling relief shone in chocolate brown eyes. It took all Thorin had to resist taking Bilbo in his arms and showering him with apologies and promises and affection. Instead he stayed on his knees before the Hobbit, his weeping turned into mere sobs now as he waited for Bilbo to say something.

"Is this for us?" The Halfling asked, gesturing to the filling bath.

"For you. Yes." Thorin immediately answered. Bilbo swallowed hard, but never broke his contact with Thorin's eyes.

"We both have things to wash away." He said softly, his chest aching slightly as he said it. Bilbo had months of grime and heartache. But now Thorin had months of guilt and self hatred he too should address. "And there's no need to waste water." He added with the ghost of a smile. Thorin felt his heart squeezing at that very small, very sad smile. He watched Bilbo delicately enter the bath, cringing with every movement, and his heart squeezed in his chest. The Hobbit looked at him over his shoulder, uncertainty still lingering about in the air.

"Are...are you sure?" Thorin finally asked. Bilbo nodded, though he gravitated to the other side of the giant tub that was sunk into the ground like a hot spring. Thorin almost numbly entered the water, giving Bilbo the wide space that the Hobbit had placed between them. He would not dare try to push his limits. Even if he did want nothing more than to hold Bilbo and whisper sweet reassurances in his ear.

Thorin found that he could not tear his eyes away from the Hobbit, who sat with his legs crushed up to his chest on a seat in the side of the tub. Bilbo was watching the slowly rising water with an exhausted look on his face, and Thorin did not miss the dark circles that were almost like bruises beneath his eyes. He was so thin, and so pale. Pale, except for the bruises that Thorin could see. The bruises from his binds practically made bracelets on his thin wrists. The Dwarf King wasn't sure he wanted to see what Bilbo's nether regions looked like.

"Are you in pain?" Thorin dared to ask when Bilbo cringed again. The Hobbit looked at him with wide, knowing eyes. He shook his head, very slightly and Thorin couldn't help but scowl. "Don't lie to me Bilbo." He ordered, and immediately berated himself for taking such a tone. Bilbo looked away from the King, rather than say anything, and absently rubbed his wrists. His bottom ached and his shoulders were rather sore. But for all his aches and pains, he supposed it could have been worse. And now Thorin was back. He didn't have to worry about the next attack or that damned silver ring or toy ever again.

He should be glad. Thorin was himself again and no doubt after Oin healed his few bumps and bruises, he could be on his way back home. As much as he would love to stay and see Erebor rebuilt, he had never longed more for his armchair and his garden. His books would help him with the heartache of the past months. And his soft bed would help him forget about the physical pain he was in now, slowly but surely. He did not want to dwell on the attacks. That would only lead to more heartbreak. For the both of them.

"I could have killed you." Bilbo looked up in surprise. Thorin was weeping again, and it made his stomach turn. The Dwarf King should not weep. But he supposed there was no stopping him. And with the guilt that Thorin must be feeling at the moment...it was no hard task to imagine why he would cry.

"But you didn't." Bilbo finally whispered. He didn't want to think about what Thorin had done to him over and over again. He wanted to move on. Evidently Dwarves did not get over things so quickly as Hobbits.

"How can you be so calm? How can you bear the sight of me?" Thorin's voice was choked but he did not dishonor Bilbo by breaking eye contact. The Hobbit looked surprised and then a look like pity crossed his face. If Thorin thought disgust or betrayal would be unbearable on Bilbo's face, he could never imagine the sting of that pity. Bilbo, after all that had happened, pitied the Dwarf King!

"Hobbits...we don't dwell on bad things. What's the point of revolving your world around something that happened and passed?" Bilbo explained patiently.

"But what I did to you-"

"It wasn't you." Thorin was surprised that Bilbo would interrupt him, but he was even more surprised at the Halflings words. "I said it when they brought me back to the mountain, and I'll say it now too. That was not you Thorin. That was the Gold Sickness. I saw it like a cloud in your eyes. And it's gone now." Bilbo was...reassuring him?

"I cannot blame all my actions on my Sickness." Thorin tried to maintain.

"I doubt you're blaming any of them on the Sickness. You're blaming every moment on yourself, and it's already tearing you apart. The Thorin I know never cried." Thorin couldn't bear the pity. He looked down, watching his tears make ripples in the pool. There was the sound of water shifting and then Bilbo was sitting next to him. Not close, but closer than Thorin would think he'd willingly sit. "It wasn't you. You would never hurt me, or anyone, unless vigorously provoked. In this case it was Madness provoking you. But it's passed. It's in the past." Bilbo waited for Thorin to acknowledge his words, or even acknowledge that he heard him, but the Dwarf King was absolutely still. And then the moment passed with the sound of a vicious pounding on the door to Thorin's room.

The Dwarf King stood and left the bath without a word, barely sparing a moment to wrap a towel around himself, and leaving Bilbo alone. Bilbo took the opportunity to actually start washing, wondering briefly who was at the door. He heard hushed voices, but he couldn't guess at the owner of the voice. There were hurried footsteps and then the door to the washroom was thrown open and Balin entered, looking concerned and a bit scared.

"Master Baggins!" He breathed. He had come to Thorin's chambers hoping to see his King Sickness free. He checked every day, but that day the task had escaped him until he finally had a free moment. He had come not really expecting progress, and thus was surprised to open the door to a clear eyed Thorin. One who had immediately pulled him inside and whispered to Balin the terrible things he'd done to the Hobbit. Balin did not want to believe it, but looking at Bilbo now there was no doubt. He looked pale and drawn and there were bruises around his wrists, clearly from binds. He wanted to inspect the Hobbit further, but was caught completely off guard by the smile he received upon entrance.

"Balin!" Bilbo smiled, though it was hardly a smile. It was small and weak but there was real gladness behind seeing the Dwarf. Just an hour ago Bilbo had been sure he'd never see Balin, or anyone, ever again. And seeing Balin now made Bilbo more than happy. He could only hope that this was not all a dream his heart had conjured.

"Bilbo...lad...come out of there. I have to take you to Oin immediately." Balin spoke after gaping at the Hobbit for a long moment. Bilbo frowned and cocked his head.

"Not that I wouldn't appreciate seeing him, but why?" He inquired, but he did as Balin asked and gingerly stepped from the bath. Balin quickly handed the Hobbit a robe to put on, but not before spying what seemed like hundreds of small, finger shaped bruises all along Bilbo's sides, rear, and thighs. Yet more evidence to support Thorin's claims.

"You need to be looked after, if I'm to understand Thorin speaks the truth about this." He looked over his shoulder at said Dwarf King, who could not make eye contact with either. He was leaning against the wall, not even trying to appear strong or regal. His shoulders were slumped and he looked as though he might collapse at any moment. "You should come too Your Majesty. The withdrawal of Madness can take it's tole, I believe." Balin commanded, but there was no warmth in his voice when he spoke. It made Bilbo frown slightly again. He understood why Balin might be angry, but shouldn't he be just as gentle with Thorin as he was with Bilbo? Thorin was suffering, probably more than Bilbo was, because he was suffering mentally. Balin lead Bilbo to Oin's chambers, surprising the hard of hearing Dwarf with their arrival.

"Master Baggins? Balin? What...what are yeh lot...I didn't even know yeh were here Bilbo." Oin started to smile, but caught sight of what Balin had. The dark rings beneath his eyes. The lack of color in his usually rosy cheeks. And he could see ribs through the boys skin. "My...what's happened teh yeh Bilbo?" He asked, ushering the Hobbit to a bed in the healing room adjacent to his bedroom. Balin pulled Oin to the side and whispered into the ear trumpet while Bilbo sat and Thorin stood near the door. They all saw the accusing glance Oin sent the King, but none said a word as Oin started to treat his patient.

"Thorin, we should speak outside." Balin left no room for him to argue as he left the chamber and shut the door behind the King. Bilbo was curious as to what they would speak of, but the poking and prodding of Oin's fingers kept him busy. The old Healer made note of every bruise and sore muscle, not seeming to care about the way Bilbo blushed when he commanded the Hobbit to drop his robe.

"Do yeh ache anywhere specific?" Oin questioned as he spread salve on Bilbo's wrists and wrapped them.

"My shoulders are stiff. And my..." He faded off, gesturing to his bottom. Oin nodded, frowning as he did.

"Bilbo I need teh put medicine on yer bruises...even the ones in...yer intimate places." Bilbo flushed again, but nodded. Oin was quick, but thorough, and whenever Bilbo felt too uncomfortable he would give the Hobbit a moment. Once done he wrapped the places he could in bandages and offered Bilbo some pants that were too big for the Hobbit, but were better than a robe. "Yer skin and bones boy." The Dwarf frowned. Bilbo looked down at himself with a grimace. But despite the malnourished look of his body, he wasn't remotely hungry.

"How is he Oin?" Balin questioned upon returning to the room. Thorin didn't return, Bilbo noted. He was about to ask about the Dwarf King when Oin started up.

"He's sore when sitting and needs some hearty meals, but there's nothing permanent, nothing too bad medically." Neither Dwarf mentioned what might need doing to heal him Mentally. Because even though Bilbo looked and acted shockingly calm, no one could have gone through something like that and be completely sane. Balin supposed to himself that the refined demeanor was from shock and that Bilbo would be acting appropriately once it wore off.

"Are you hungry lad?" Balin asked gently, but Bilbo visibly paled at the question.

"N-No, I'm fine." Not only was Bilbo not hungry, but the thought of eating made his stomach turn. A sudden cascade of images flooded his mind of Thorin force feeding him and it was making him feel sick. And though he said he wanted to forget and move on, the thoughts wouldn't go away. Balin's brow creased in worry, but before he could speak the doors to the Healing Room burst open and Fili and Kili spilled in.

"Bilbo!" They both exclaimed as one. Kili stepped forward to embrace Bilbo, but Oin stopped the young prince.

"We just saw uncle walking in the hall. He said you were here." Kili said with a smile. He was still too happy with Bilbo being there to notice what Fili's analyzing eyes spotted almost instantly. Bandages creeping up from the Hobbits trousers. Ribs visible beneath skin. Exhaustion clear on his normally cheerful face.

"Bilbo what happened? You look terrible. Did this happen on your way home?" The golden haired Dwarf demanded, brushing past Balin, even when the older Dwarf tried to stop him. Fili looked closer at the Hobbit, despite Bilbo looking uncomfortable at his closeness. "What happened my friend?" He asked gently.

"It's none of your concern Fili. If Master Baggins wants you to know, he'll tell you." Balin said firmly, and Fili blushed a little.

"I'm sorry Bilbo, I shouldn't be invading your privacy. Are you at least alright?" Fili asked, completely oblivious to the flinch Balin and Oin shared. Bilbo managed to keep his expression almost cheerful and nodded stiffly.

"I will be."

OOOOO

"Bilbo my name is Dis." Bilbo looked at the dark haired Dwarf woman who was smiling sweetly at him from across his little table. Balin had suggested Bilbo take time away from everyone and gave the Hobbit large quarters with a balcony and even a small bit of a garden for Bilbo to sit near. But what started as some time away from everyone turned into weeks, and now almost a month had passed. Balin was his only regular visitor, though most of the company had stopped by at some point or another. This was the first time he'd seen this woman though.

"Hello." He gestured for her to sit in the opposite chair, and she smiled sweetly.

"I'm Thorin's sister." She told him when he said nothing else. He tensed and swallowed heavily and put on a fake, small smile.

"How is Thorin?" Bilbo managed to ask with a relatively emotionless voice.

"He's better. Balin and myself have been helping him come to terms with his deeds and he's almost back to normal." Bilbo nodded, genuinely glad that Thorin hadn't let the Gold Madness ruin the rest of his life. It wouldn't be fair. "How are you?" She asked gently.

"I'm fine." He said quickly. She nodded slightly and leaned forward.

"Bilbo. I'm not as stupid as the others. You're very brave, and very noble. But you're not fine. You're trying to appear fine so we could focus on Thorin first, which is more selfless than anything I've ever seen, but Thorin is better now. Let me help you." Bilbo avoided her eyes and toyed with the cuff of his sleeve. "Bilbo everyone says you defend Thorin vigorously, whenever someone speaks ill of him. You don't allow anyone to doubt his honor. In fact you refuse to let them speak of anything regarding the attacks at all. It almost makes me think that you're trying to forget what happened completely."

"Is that such a bad thing? To want to forget?" Bilbo whispered.

"No. I actually understand better than most what you have been through." Bilbo finally looked up at her, worry in his eyes. "It was before I married the lads father. The Dwarf responsible was caught and imprisoned and I never was able to forgive him. The fact that you _never_ blamed Thorin, not once, is something I can't comprehend."

"He wasn't himself. He couldn't help it." Bilbo choked out.

"Aye. That may be true. Gold Madness is a dreadful thing. I watched it destroy my grandfather as well. But now that it's passed, we need to talk about it. You need to get angry and yell and cry and do anything you need to do. As long as it helps you get what you need to express out of your body and into the air." She explained promptly.

"I don't understand. How will screaming and crying help?" Bilbo sniffled.

"Oh you'd be surprised lad." She smiled kindly. And then she frowned again. "Balin said you haven't been eating. Only bits and small amounts. It has to do with something Thorin did doesn't it?" Bilbo nodded slowly. He still could not rid his mind of the memories within. The memories of Thorin forcing food down his throat when he refused to eat. He could not seem to forget them, and every time he saw food they became the only thing he could think of, making his hunger fade to sickness. "Then the next time you try to eat, and you remember what he did, just scream and yell until it all fades off." She supposed.

"I don't know if I can..." He admitted.

"Let's try it, yeah? Just once. I heard your stomach rumbling through those doors and in the hallway. You must be hungry, so let's try it now." He stared at her for a very long moment before nodding. If she thought this would really help, maybe he should try. Dis was being very kind to him, and he wanted to make her happy. She stepped out into the hall and reappeared in moments with a tray of food. There was soup and bread and fresh berries and it smelled wonderful. But as soon as the delicious smells and the sight of the tantalizing food reached him, the memories returned and he thought he would be sick.

"I-I c-can't-" Bilbo choked out, clenching his eyes shut.

"Go on Bilbo, scream and shout and curse. At the top of your lungs. No one is going to judge you." Dis coaxed hopefully. Bilbo didn't even know if he could scream. Not without some reason. He tried a couple of half hearted yells, but they faded into sobs as the memories progressed. Not just the force feeding, but the attacks, wrecking him mind. His sobbing turned into loud moans of anguish and they turned into shouts. Dis watched him the whole time, ready to get help if he got too distressed. And then Bilbo screamed, loud and heart breaking and Dis didn't think she could remember something quite so pain filled ever reaching her ears before.

When Bilbo stopped to take big deep breathes of air, his eyes slowly cracked open and he looked numbly at the food in front of him. Then without a word he shakily plucked a strawberry off his plate and ate it, his stomach gurgling as though prompting him to continue. Dis smiled, but they both knew it was only the very beginning.

OOOOO

Dis wasn't a fool. She knew that Bilbo was never as okay as he said he was. Yes, he was eating again, but never enough. And yes, he slept, but it was never a restful sleep. He smiled when Fili and Kili told him jokes and stories, but it was always such a small, sad smile. He even laughed once when Bofur was with him, but it sounded so pained. And the first time he saw Thorin, after the night the King returned to himself, Bilbo was shockingly cavalier. Until five minutes later when he politely excused himself and practically ran out of the dining hall to his room.

The problem was that Bilbo was a Hobbit. He had told them that Hobbits got over things quickly, that they didn't let things of the past bother them. But Dis doubted that Hobbits ever suffered anything close to what Bilbo suffered. His body was still littered with healing bruises, and he still looked uncomfortable when he sat down. And it seemed like the horror would never leave his eyes. But since he was a Hobbit, he was expected to be fine. Not expected by the Dwarves, but by himself. So he pretended, and that made Balin and Dis' jobs so much harder.

Today was especially hard. Bilbo wasn't acting happy, but he wasn't acting any way at all. He was just sitting blankly in his little balcony garden, staring off into the west towards the Misty Mountains, and the Shire beyond it. Ori had been prattling on for almost an hour now about the library and the restorations. Bilbo hadn't absorbed any of it, Dis could tell. She was sure Ori could as well, but the scribe didn't say anything about it. He just kept on, filling the air with something other than silence.

"Ori, it's almost time for lunch. Would you be a dear and run to the kitchen for Bilbo?" Dis finally interrupted the rambling Dwarf. Ori nodded, somewhat gratefully, and scurried off. In reality, lunch wasn't for another hour. If he went to the kitchen now he'd have to wait quite some time for the cooks to have a plate ready. But that would give Dis some time to talk to Bilbo. Just the two of them. That usually helped some, when it was just the two of them. Dis sometimes wondered if Bilbo opened up to her because she was a female, and he needed her maternal presence. Or maybe it was because she looked like Thorin. Not a lot, just enough that he couldn't escape thinking of the King when she was there.

"Am I a bad person? Because I don't listen to him?" Bilbo asked, his voice hollow and his eyes still fixed on the horizon.

"No. He understands." Dis assured him.

"I used to listen to him. During the journey, I could listen to all of them for hours, talking about their home and their lives and their customs. Now it's hard." Bilbo sighed, and he looked so tired. "I want to go back to my home." Bilbo voice cracked with longing as he said it, and Dis felt her blood run cold. She knew it was only a matter of time before Bilbo asked to go back. He had brought it up not long after the ordeal with Thorin ended. But Balin convinced him it was best he stay in Erebor, to recover at the very least.

"I know Bilbo. But honestly, I do not think it wise. You are not recovered yet, you still-"

"I am fine!" Bilbo shouted, interrupting her for the first time she could remember. Bilbo bit his lip, obviously trying to keep his emotions in check, as he always did.

"No. You are not. We both know that Bilbo. And it's okay that you're not okay. If you would just let us help you, we could-" Bilbo stood and ran back into his room, slamming the bathroom door shut behind him. He didn't often leave a conversation, but when he did, it was usually when the subject of Thorin or his true emotions came up. Dis was pretty sure he just...couldn't keep his facade up if someone really called him on it. If everyone else was pretending that things were okay, then he was perfectly capable of pretending as well. But the second Dis or Balin asked him to let them in, or just to talk about what happened, he would shut down.

The Princess sighed and decided to let Bilbo have some time to himself. She shut Bilbo's door quietly and walked confidently to her brother's chambers. She didn't bother knocking, she knew what position she would find Thorin in. The same one she always found him in. Hunched over his desk, nose in some proclamations and trade agreements that he had to go over. It seemed there was a never ending amount of them. On this particular day, he was obviously struggling to stay awake as he read through a proposition from Thranduil.

"Dis." Thorin murmured in recognition as his sister entered his room and took up a chair by the fire. "How is he?" Thorin looked up from his scroll, his eyes suddenly much more attentive than they were a moment ago.

"Not good. He wants to go back to the Shire. He's currently locked in the bathroom." She relayed. Thorin sighed and ran his hand down his tired face. His own recovery from his Gold Sickness had been trying, on all of them. At first he just locked himself in his room, weeping in self pity and agony for his actions, begging Mahal to take them all back. The horror of what he had done hit him harder than any blow ever could, not than Dis felt bad for him. But he began neglecting more than just himself during his little pity party. His Kingdom needed its leader, and while Fili and Dis made a good substitute, Thorin needed to clean himself up.

Balin and Dis convinced him to snap out of it after a long, _very_ long, screaming session. His moping was not going to change his actions, and it certainly wasn't going to help Bilbo or Erebor. It was that argument that eventually made Thorin recover. He would do anything for Bilbo, anything to make up for his actions. And until he made himself better, he couldn't help Bilbo. He still felt guilt for his actions, such terrible guilt, but he was making an effort to put his guilt to good use. He made himself become a better Dwarf, fueled by his grief.

"Maybe I should just...let him go. I could send Bofur and Nori and Dwalin as escorts." Thorin knew what letting Bilbo go would do to him, but if it was what Bilbo wanted, he had to do it. However Dis just laughed. A cold, small laugh that made Thorin feel like he was about to get yelled at. But Dis spoke calmly and reasonably.

"Brother. He wouldn't last one week in the Shire. He would stop eating, stop sleeping, keep remembering, and not let it out. I don't think you realize how hard Balin and I are working to keep him alive." Thorin felt his stomach wither at the thought of Bilbo fading like that. He would feel it, all they way in Erebor, if Bilbo faded. He would feel it anywhere on Middle Earth. He felt it now. He felt the emptiness, the ache. His sister was right. But, she was usually right. Dis always had been the smart one.

"What can we do then? He refuses to recover, maintaining that he's fine. And we can't let him go until he's recovered! He hates it here, but he can't leave! He's more of a prisoner now than he was when...when..." Thorin couldn't bring himself to say it. Dis sighed.

"We are making progress Thorin. It's small and it's slow, but we are. Please trust that we are doing all that we can." He did trust Dis. He trusted her more than he could ever trust himself anymore. So he nodded and returned to his scroll. Dis sat in silence, staring into the fire. And a few rooms down, Bilbo sat pressed against the bathroom door with a small knife in his hand, and blood running down his arm onto the stone ground.

OOOOO

"Bilbo." Balin was knocking at his door. The Hobbit yelped a bit in surprise and panicked, pushing the knife in his hands under his pillows and rolling his shirt sleeve down. He grabbed his bed sheet and tucked himself under it before clearing his throat and calling for Balin to come in. It was odd for the older Dwarf to visit him twice in one day, Bilbo had thought he would be uninterrupted by any visitors, especially as it was getting late in the evening. But he smiled as best he could at his white haired friend, who smiled back but looked worried.

"Hello Balin." Bilbo greeted in a shaky voice, fiddling nervously with his shirt sleeves beneath the bed sheet.

"Did I wake ya lad?" Balin asked with concern in his voice.

"Oh no. Dis just barely left half an hour ago." Bilbo assured him.

"Did I frighten you? I heard a yelp." Balin pointed out, pulling a chair from the table over next to Bilbo's bed. He was more than a little worried. Dis had come to him a half hour ago, after leaving Bilbo's room, to tell Balin her suspicions. The two Dwarves had been working tirelessly to help Bilbo but it seemed as though they took two steps back for every step forward.

"I was just...not expecting anyone." Bilbo said lamely, and while it wasn't a lie, it wasn't giving away anything about what he'd been doing. Balin nodded, silently debating how best to approach the subject. Bilbo looked at him nervously, and Balin could see his fingers toying with his sleeves beneath his sheet. Very nervous.

"Bilbo, Dis and I have talked. We're both very concerned about you." Bilbo nodded slowly. He was used to such sentiments. The whole company was worried about him. Thorin was especially worried, or so he heard. They had only seen each other three more times since the night Thorin returned to himself, but Bilbo hadn't been able to stay in his company for more than ten minutes before he ran away. He always acted collected enough, but he would squirm in his seat and his eyes were far away and he would excuse himself as soon as he could. It made Thorin ache with regret and sadness and concern. He wished he could be helping Bilbo, as well as Bilbo and Dis were, but they all agreed he should keep his distance. It was amazing that Bilbo could even look at him, let alone be in the same room as him for ten minutes.

"Concerned about what?" Bilbo asked with a fake smile. The worst part about trying to heal Master Baggins was how he always tried to insist he was just fine. And could keep his facade up for quite some time before he would allow them to see past it, and usually they could only get through once every ten conversations. And usually it was Dis he broke in front of.

"Lad we've seen the blood on your clothes and sheets. The washers tell us about it. And Dis has made it a point to keep an eye out. So I want you tell me the truth. Are yeh hurting yourself Bilbo?" He asked, as gently as he could. Bilbo looked away from his knowing eyes and his bottom lip trembled. He shook his head, but it was far too weak to be true. "Come out from your sheet lad. Let me make sure you're not in danger of infection at least." Balin prompted and Bilbo gave a little whine as he drew the sheet back. He fiddled with his sleeves for a longer moment before holding his left arm out to the dwarf.

Balin carefully pulled up the sleeve to reveal dozens upon dozens of bright red and raw lines cut into Bilbo's skin. He had to stop himself from pulling Bilbo into the biggest embrace he could muster. He knew Bilbo would not be comfortable, even if he just wanted to comfort the Hobbit. Instead he sighed heavily and squeezed the Halflings hand.

"I need to get bandages and ointment from Oin. I'll return shortly." The heartbreak in his voice made Bilbo shrink on himself a little. He never meant to hurt his friends with this. It was just for him. He didn't want them to know. "Bilbo." The Hobbit looked back up at him. "Whatever you've been using, I need to take it." He told him and stretched out his hand expectantly. Bilbo sighed and stared at his hand for a long moment before miserably reaching under his pillow and giving the small knife to Balin. "I'll be back in a blink."

He returned with Dis, who looked like she was on the boarder of crying and shouting, though she would never shout at Bilbo. Instead she sat carefully on the edge of Bilbo's bed and held his hand while Balin worked.

"Bilbo, why are ya doing this to yourself?" Balin asked, grief in his voice as he cleaned the blood off Bilbo's arm. The Hobbit swallowed heavily and tried to avoid looking at Balin, but it was no use. It was either Balin or Dis, and he couldn't handle looking at Dis at the moment.

"I don't know what else to do. I...It hurts so much, on the inside. And this makes me feel better, only for a moment, but it makes me feel better." He admitted heavily, tears sliding down his cheeks. Dis squeezed his hand harder, trying to contain herself, and Balin paused in his bandaging to look at the Hobbit.

"Oh Bilbo. You should have talked to us. We could have figured something out. Some way for you to feel better without hurting yourself." Bilbo sniffled, and nodded miserably.

"I know, I just...this was so much simpler than going to you. It was easier." Dis squeezed his hand again. "I...when Thorin came back to himself, I thought I could move on. I thought, because I'm a Hobbit, that I could easily recover from what he did to me in his Sickness. But I never thought it would be so hard to even wake up each morning. The memories won't go away no matter how hard I try, and I'm so tired." He was crying now, fat tears rolling down his cheeks unchecked.

"Oh Bilbo." Dis sighed, not knowing what else to say. Baling was in a similar position. In the end, the two of them could only hold Bilbo's hands and let him weep. But that turned out to be enough when Bilbo fell asleep soon after.

OOOOO

The knock at the door came as a surprise for Bilbo. He thought everyone was asleep, even Dis and Balin were probably in bed. It was well past midnight, after all. But he shrugged and wrapped his coat around himself as he stood and walked to the door. There was another, more hesitant, knock just before he reached the door and he pulled the door open urgently. He was not prepared to see Thorin on the other side, looking exhausted and worried.

"T-Thorin." Bilbo unconsciously moved a bit behind the door, and Thorin instantly noticed.

"Bilbo, I know I'm probably the last person you want to see. But Dis and Balin informed me today that...you've been hurting yourself. And I had to speak to you." Thorin could visibly see Bilbo debating with himself about whether to let Thorin in or not, but finally the door opened enough for the Dwarf King to enter. He slipped inside and Bilbo, just as hesitantly, closed the door. Bilbo skirted around Thorin, unconsciously putting as much space between them as possible, and then he sat down in one of two armchairs that were before the fire. Thorin took the opposite chair, his eyes never leaving Bilbo.

"Are you angry with me?" Bilbo whispered, not able to look at Thorin.

"No. How could I ever be angry with you?" Bilbo said nothing, prompting Thorin to say what he had come here to say. "We can't keep going on like this. I hurt you, more than I've ever hurt anyone, and we need to address it. For both our sakes. We can all see it Bilbo, you're fading. And if you fade, I will too." That caught Bilbo's attention, and he tentatively looked up at Thorin. "You're my One Bilbo. I didn't realize it until we reached Lake Town, and by then I was far too focused on the Mountain to admit it to you.

"Maybe if I had, things would have been different. It was also why, when you left after the battle, my Gold Sick mind demanded I send guards after you. I told myself that you were mine and I had every right to take you. Instead of showering you with courting gifts and wooing you...I destroyed you. And I will never forgive myself for that. I drove you to this, to your fading. If you die, and if I follow soon after, it will be all my fault." Thorin's voice broke near the end, and Bilbo had to look away again. "I expect nothing from you. And I know I will have to live my life without your love...but at least you'll be alive. I want you to confront me about what I've done. I want you to get so angry with me that you strike me, if you need to."

Bilbo remembered when Dis had encouraged him to scream and yell in order to be able to eat. This didn't seem that different of a principle, but how could he ever strike Thorin? He still didn't blame the Dwarf King for the attacks. Not completely anyways. All he really blamed Thorin for was for falling into Gold Sickness. But he would never forget the things Gold Sick Thorin did. And try as he might, he was still terrified. Still, he didn't think he could hit Thorin. However, it had worked when Dis had encouraged him to express himself. Surely it wouldn't hurt to try this now. Bilbo sucked in a large breath, steadying himself, and breathed out. Then he started speaking.

"You tried to kill me. You held me over a wall because of a stone. You would have dropped me were it not for Gandalf. After the battle, I stayed until I heard that you had all survived. And when I left, you sent guards after me. And I was scared." His voice cracked and Thorin leaned forward very slightly, as if to comfort him, but then he remembered himself and sat back. "You raped me. Again and again and I never thought it would end, and it hurt every time. You forced food down my throat. You tortured me with that ring and that toy and I have never known such pain in my life. I begged the gods for death every night. I cried, and you never heard me, or you just didn't care. I lost my hope. And I think it is still gone. Because it still hurts. Every second I am awake it hurts, and every moment I suffer through a nightmare, it hurts even more. And I just know it will never end. It's over, what happened. But it will never go away. And I'll keep suffering forever." Bilbo was sobbing gently by the end, and it broke Thorin's heart.

"What can I do? To recover your hope?" Thorin asked weakly. Bilbo sniffled and shook his head, because he really didn't know. He didn't know what could possibly help him. Thorin hesitantly leaned forward and even more hesitantly put his hand on Bilbo's knee. The Hobbit stared intently at his hand, but didn't flinch away or ask Thorin to stop touching him, so Thorin kept his hand there. "Please Bilbo. I'll do anything. I destroyed the Arkenstone, I gave Balin the key to the treasury, I gave Dis the power over the treasury. I've completely separated myself from anything that could spark my Gold Sickness. There's nothing I won't do to make you feel safe. To make you feel hope." Bilbo sniffled again and looked up nervously.

"You...destroyed the Arkenstone?" Bilbo didn't know if he believed it or not.

"Yes. I crushed up the shards and gave them to Thranduil and Bard. I only wish I had done it sooner." Thorin promised. He jumped a little in shock when he felt a small hand on his. He looked down dumbly at Bilbo's pale fingers covering his own, and he felt a rush of...peace.

"I don't know how to make myself hope again. B-But maybe, you could..." He bit his lip, and Thorin leaned forward eagerly. "Never mind." Bilbo said quickly, pulling his hand back.

"Please tell me!" Thorin begged, wanting so badly to follow Bilbo's hand.

"I...would you hold me? Just...gently. Like I wanted you to...before..." Thorin could honestly say he had not expected that. But he nodded. Bilbo didn't look at him as he silently stood from his chair and sat on Thorin's lap. He brought his feet up so he could curl into a ball, and Thorin wrapped his arms around his lap full of Hobbit. Neither said anything, just listened to the slow crackle of the fire. Bilbo's head was tucked beneath Thorin's chin, his cheek pressed firmly into Thorin's chest and his hands grabbing fistfuls of Thorin's sleeve. "Before we got to Erebor, before we even left Beorn's house...I knew I loved you. But I thought you didn't care about me. So I never said anything." Bilbo whispered after a long length of silence.

"I wish you had." Thorin murmured.

"Me too." More silence filled up the air. "The reason I never hated you...even after everything you did...was because I knew it wasn't _really_ you. And because I love you. But...I felt like it would be wrong of me to say I love you, when everybody must think I hate you." He explained anxiously. Thorin felt paralyzed by Bilbo's words. "I still love you. But I'm scared. I'm scared that one day your eyes will open cloudy again and that you'll hate me again, and want to hurt me again." Bilbo whimpered at the thought. Thorin squeezed his Hobbit closer to his body.

"I wish I could reassure you Bilbo. But in truth, I do not know that I will remain free of Gold Sickness. I have taken every precaution possible to prevent it from recurring, but I cannot say for sure that it is gone for good. However, I _can_ promise you that Balin and Dis will not let anything happen to you, if I should fall into Sickness once more. They will not let me get anywhere close to you. No one in the company will." He promised, and Bilbo relaxed a little. "You are safe. From me you are safe. From yourself..." Thorin gently took Bilbo's arm in his and slowly pulled the sleeve up. Bilbo's arm was bandaged heavily, from wrist to elbow, but little bits of blood still seeped through the white cloth. "Please do not hurt yourself Bilbo." Thorin begged, and his voice sounded so pained.

"I'm sorry." Bilbo sniffled, pulling his arm away. "I did not know what else to do."

"And now?" Thorin asked nervously. Bilbo didn't say anything for a long time before he shifted in Thorin's lap to look up at the King.

"Now I'm not scared. But I am still hurt. I still remember, every time I close my eyes. Dis says that in time it gets easier. But how can it get easier if I have nothing but those memories in my mind?" Thorin felt his stomach twist violently.

"Let me help you. Let me give you good memories, instead of bad memories. Please Bilbo, let me in." Bilbo bit his lip gently. He was a Hobbit. He wasn't supposed to be upset over things that happened in the past, and he wasn't supposed to inconvenience others by talking about it. But he was already breaking one of those. So he nodded and tucked his head back under Thorin's chin. He would let Thorin in, but not right that minute. Not when he finally felt safe again.

OOOOO

After that night, it took three more months before Bilbo returned to his normal self. His smiles were genuine, and his laughs were real. There were some permanent changes though. He was much quieter than he used to be, and sometimes he just looked off into the distance, remembering something that no one asked him to talk about. And he still had nightmares. Horrible, heart wrenching night terrors that made him scream in his sleep. But now he had Thorin beside him to wake him, when he screamed in the night.

Thorin had moved into Bilbo's room after two months. Bilbo refused to go back into Thorin's room, so the King went to him. Bilbo enjoyed having Thorin hold him. It made him feel safe on those occasions when memories made him feel weak. They never did anything more than cuddle, but Thorin was never going to ask Bilbo for more. He was never going to ask anything of Bilbo. He would only give.

Thorin never fell into Gold Sickness again. He and Bilbo were married on Bilbo's sixtieth birthday. And when Bilbo was 78, his nephew Frodo was brought to Erebor after Primula and Drogo Baggins drowned. Bilbo never saw that magic ring again, but Frodo did. And years later, when Bilbo and Frodo went to the Grey Havens, Thorin went with them, leaving Erebor to Fili and his heirs. They left Middle Earth together, leaving every bad moment behind.

OOOOO

_AN: What can I say, I'm a sucker for a happy ending. I realize Bilbo's acceptance of Thorin is probably a little too easy, but I don't know how someone in his situation would act in real life. I've never had to be in such a situation. In any case, it's true love! He can forgive Thorin if he damn well wants to forgive Thorin! _

_If you liked this version and haven't read the other, you definitely could. Just saying. If you didn't like this version, maybe try the other one and see if you like that one better. Just saying. Thanks for reading!_


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